remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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