don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
