I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
