The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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