the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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