No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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