Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
