so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
