mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
time to smoke my breakfast
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
