what day is it and did you see me today?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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