Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
