i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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