pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I had to cum in my sink.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize