If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
