Do you still have your period?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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