your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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