you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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