I don't remember. Are we still dating?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
