it wasn't lemon gatorade
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Randomize
