I think my vagina is haunted
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
