he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
