would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
