So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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