He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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