I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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