Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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