Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
