my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
