I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
