i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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