You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
