Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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