i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
