my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He passed out mid-signature
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
