I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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