Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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