Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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