You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
