Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
