somebody snuck up and got me drunk
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I've blown a few things in my day
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
