youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
