yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
