but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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