no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
