So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
