so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
