yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
