is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
