You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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