I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
