He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
