Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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