Pants 0. Shit 1.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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