Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
