Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
