Already got asked if we're dating
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize