Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Randomize
