then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
