sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
