What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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